Friday, September 24, 2010

Why Men Leave

I've never met a man who hasn't thought about leaving.  Some just talk about it, while others lace up their Nike's and just do it.  Me?  I'm no exception.  I've done both.

Contrary to widely held beliefs, men don't leave for the other woman.  They don't leave for the other man either.  They don't leave because "you deserve better."  Not even the lack of sex or an acute midlife crisis will cause a man leave.

I know why men leave.

Men won't leave, even when we feel our world takes us for granted.  There are days when we feel like we're losing ourselves to our employers, mates, children, dates, friends, deals, panhandlers, bills, homework, housework, "yes, I'm still unemployed, ya jerk!"  Our investments remain underwater with ballooning notes, not to mention the crazy IRS folks... unemployment's a joke, on & on & on & on... this list don't stop until...!  Where's my time?  When do I get to do something for me?"  We may stress out and/or act out, but we won't leave.

I know why men leave.

Show me a man who believes that his dream is dying and I'll show you a man on the precipice of leaving everyone and everything.  I'm not talking about your garden-variety dream, i.e., big house, financial riches, etc.  No, I'm talking about THE dream.  THE LIFE MISSION - the reason why we're here.  It is a divine deposit that demands our withdrawal for circulation into and for the betterment of the universe at-large.  Once we acknowledge and embrace what it is, it becomes our reason for living.  But, if we aren't sure what it is or the demands of life appear so overwhelming that we can't envision it or question if we're even worthy of receiving the blessing, all Hell breaks loose!

I can't think of anything more capable of sending men to the brink of leaving.  But, we won't leave.  He can even find meaning in his discontent.  As Mary Morrissey stated in Building Your Field of Dreams, "Honor Your Discontent.  Respect the feeling inside you that's nudging you toward a greater experience.  This is God's greatest gift -- your life -- speaking to you.  Your inner friction rubs and rubs, creating a divine spark that will ignite your desire into a potent idea."

So, why do men leave?

Paternal Order

I believe a man's father is the driving force in his life.  Whether he is active in our lives, makes infrequent appearances or has never been in our lives is of no consequence.  He is the driving force (mother's guide/father's drive).  Some of us aspire to be like him.  We do great Dad imitations, tracing his steps, his path and his legacy at the expense of neglecting the development of our true identities.  Other men vow to never be like him, over-correcting to the point of losing our true selves.  Every man knows the elation of seeing ourselves in our dad; and I dare say most men know the horror of seeing his own life previewed in the failures and setbacks of his father.  All of this transpires unbeknown or unacknowledged by us because we are our own man.

But the day comes when a man realizes that this invisible, paternal force does indeed affect his life, his decisions and his emotional well-being.  His father can't calm turbulent seas, can't provide immediate relief from the overwhelming stress, can't understand nor help you live your life mission.  That doesn't make our father's weak, incompetent or useless.  It makes him human.  It is then that we come face to face with Paternal Order, that our earthly father is not the alpha male. God, the Father, is.   God doesn't just reign at the top.  God reigns over all... everything... everywhere.

Understanding Paternal Order will cause every man to leave... leave his father's footsteps and embark on his divinely created path as ordained by God, the Father.  In Him, we must seek wisdom, guidance, comfort and fuel for the journey.  He alone is our Creator and He alone created every aspect of our universe and our being.  In the past, a man may have enjoyed or resented people proclaiming how much he is like his father.  But, he'll leave that paradigm the moment he embraces that "I and the Father (God) are one."

No matter how great and wonderful our fathers may be, we are not our father.
No matter how invisible our fathers may be, we are not our father.
No matter the level of success our father's may have achieved, we are not our father.
Your path is uniquely yours.  Your life mission? Uniquely yours too.
As Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith recently stated, "Our life is a Master Piece, not a copy.  Any questions, insights, clarifications should be directed to the Creator of the Master Piece." Everything that you need - EVERYTHING - has already been provided.  Just ask and you shall receive.

I told you I know why men leave.  Women, too.  And to God Almighty be the glory!


Given the Paternal Order of things, this is my last post as That Johnson Boy Said What?  I created the moniker to honor my Dad, whose name I proudly carry.  The spirit behind the name will always be with me.  But, my personal path awaits me.  So, help me welcome into the world & just cover me with prayer, as I bid farewell to That Johnson Boy and Greetings to PROVERBIAL SUN!!!